Once upon a time, I kept up with this thing. My life has been feeling quite like a circus lately. It seems like I don't even have time to remember who I am. I use to journal a lot more, but I don't even make time for that now either. I feel like I am constantly on the move, trying to get something done... but I never feel I've accomplished anything. I've been painting, but not putting up pictures. I apologize. If you are reading this, you know I usually post in order to display my newest creation.
Today, however, I just thought I would emotionally vomit on the internet.
Sorry you have to deal with that.
My heart is really heavy for so much right now. I don't really understand where I am suppose to be. I literally feel torn... or scattered. It makes sense to be so many places... but I don't know which one is right. I know I am suppose to be by my husband's side... & that's where I am & will remain until God calls me home... I just mean where are WE suppose to be.
What are you suppose to do when your mother's health is going downhill right before your eyes... & she's so young? Where are you suppose to be when she is so far away? When do you decide to make the most of the time you have left?
I wish decisions could just be made & you didn't have to think about the details that go along.
but they can't, because you do.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Thursday, October 21, 2010
'SIGN'ificant Difference
I am currently working on door signs for this Holiday Season. I am so excited about this. The wood is absolutely wonderful to paint on-just like canvas. I am having a blast painting these, and it's been a while since I enjoyed painting!
I am mostly excited about these signs because they have meaning. Not just because they are (hopefully) reminding people to be thankful & merry during the holidays. I think these paintings have value because 30% of the proceeds will be donated to my mother in order to help pay for her medicine.
Let me explain. My mom has a lung disease called Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension. Basically, the blood vessels which take blood to her lungs do not dilate. She also has a hole in her heart the size of a half dollar. Needless to say... she is having a hard time. The medicine for her PAH costs $30,000 a year.... after insurance. So whatever we can do to help, we do!
The signs are reversible. One side (pictured) is for the Thanksgiving season. The other side will be navy blue with white lettering which reads, "Merry Christmas". I have not yet finished the Christmas side, so I don't have a picture to show for it. If a reversible sign is purchased, it is $50. However, you can opt to just get a Thanksgiving or just a Christmas sign for $25. I put this information up yesterday and have already made 5 orders! I am so excited to finish these & celebrate this season, merry & bright!
I am mostly excited about these signs because they have meaning. Not just because they are (hopefully) reminding people to be thankful & merry during the holidays. I think these paintings have value because 30% of the proceeds will be donated to my mother in order to help pay for her medicine.
Let me explain. My mom has a lung disease called Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension. Basically, the blood vessels which take blood to her lungs do not dilate. She also has a hole in her heart the size of a half dollar. Needless to say... she is having a hard time. The medicine for her PAH costs $30,000 a year.... after insurance. So whatever we can do to help, we do!
The signs are reversible. One side (pictured) is for the Thanksgiving season. The other side will be navy blue with white lettering which reads, "Merry Christmas". I have not yet finished the Christmas side, so I don't have a picture to show for it. If a reversible sign is purchased, it is $50. However, you can opt to just get a Thanksgiving or just a Christmas sign for $25. I put this information up yesterday and have already made 5 orders! I am so excited to finish these & celebrate this season, merry & bright!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Sewing Sweetness
So, my friend Joy over at The Goose Beary Shop (etsy) & Redirected Dreams (blog) helped me with a gift recently. If anyone actually knows me in real life, they know the idea of me sewing is as far fetched as the idea of Politicians telling the truth (ha). We have some friends who are expecting their very first child this winter. I wanted to give them something that really mattered. I would have painted something, but they are not finding out the gender... so I wouldn't really know what to do. I don't think anyone really wants a brown plaque that says "baby" on their wall.
I knew Joy could help me because, well, she's like my saving grace! Not only did she come up with some awesome ideas(... YES, plural.. because she just kept making more & more! Have I mentioned that she is my saving grace?) but she also *drum roll please* TAUGHT me how to use the sewing machine.
I don't know that you genuinely understand the seriousness of this issue.
It was like watching Chuck Norris bake a cake.
Anyway. So, I got the wonderful privilege of making a receiving blanket with two matching burp cloths. Joy, in all of her angelic kindness however, made: a sock monkey, a cell phone holder, a teething rag doll, & an infants ball.
So. Here are the pictures
& if you're interested in Joy's handmade work, please visit her etsy The Goose Beary Shop for more goodies & order something from this wonderful momma! (Sorry, Joy, I don't know how to link your pages, or I would have.)
I knew Joy could help me because, well, she's like my saving grace! Not only did she come up with some awesome ideas(... YES, plural.. because she just kept making more & more! Have I mentioned that she is my saving grace?) but she also *drum roll please* TAUGHT me how to use the sewing machine.
I don't know that you genuinely understand the seriousness of this issue.
It was like watching Chuck Norris bake a cake.
Anyway. So, I got the wonderful privilege of making a receiving blanket with two matching burp cloths. Joy, in all of her angelic kindness however, made: a sock monkey, a cell phone holder, a teething rag doll, & an infants ball.
So. Here are the pictures
& if you're interested in Joy's handmade work, please visit her etsy The Goose Beary Shop for more goodies & order something from this wonderful momma! (Sorry, Joy, I don't know how to link your pages, or I would have.)
Friday, October 1, 2010
Momma
Painting has been so slow lately. Life, on the other hand, has not. I am trying to find the balance of doing things I enjoy & enjoying the things that I do.
Does that make sense?
This weekend is going to be great. Dear friends of ours are coming from North Carolina. They are expecting so we decided to throw them a baby "party"... because that is more manly that a shower. Haha. My amazing friend came to my rescue & helped me with a gift. She taught me how to use a sewing machine! Oh my word... it has been a long time coming. I am so proud of myself, but mostly just thankful for her. She spent all day helping me make goodies. Truthfully, I only made a couple of the items, the rest was her. She is such a generous person. I thank God for her presence in my life.
I can't show you pictures yet, because I have to give it to the mother-to-be first! But I will, as soon as I can.
I do have one new piece of art to show you. I painted this for my mother. She doesn't get to see my daughter often & it was her birthday. It happens to be one of my husband's favorites so far. What do you think?
Pine frame. Acrylic paints. Gift.
Does that make sense?
This weekend is going to be great. Dear friends of ours are coming from North Carolina. They are expecting so we decided to throw them a baby "party"... because that is more manly that a shower. Haha. My amazing friend came to my rescue & helped me with a gift. She taught me how to use a sewing machine! Oh my word... it has been a long time coming. I am so proud of myself, but mostly just thankful for her. She spent all day helping me make goodies. Truthfully, I only made a couple of the items, the rest was her. She is such a generous person. I thank God for her presence in my life.
I can't show you pictures yet, because I have to give it to the mother-to-be first! But I will, as soon as I can.
I do have one new piece of art to show you. I painted this for my mother. She doesn't get to see my daughter often & it was her birthday. It happens to be one of my husband's favorites so far. What do you think?
Pine frame. Acrylic paints. Gift.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Lazy Love
I have had a lot on my heart lately. Since this is my blog... I feel like I can openly share my heart. Hopefully, out of respect for "mah personal space" random ugly comments won't show up.
I am just so tired of people being so lazy about Christianity. If you aren't a Christian-a true, believer that Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, died for your sins & rose again that if you accept His grace & forgiveness, you will have a place in eternity with Him- then this does not apply to you. I am talking to my fellow body of believers, my brothers & sisters in Christ. My Spiritual family.
We have tapped into His grace, mercy, love & power... there is nothing to big for us to conquer with the King of Kings on our side. Yet, we struggle to find the energy to get out of bed early enough to read His word? We are so passionate in conversation about things that don't even matter. Petty drama is constantly on the tip of our tongues. Why? Why do we waste our precious time talking about such vain things? When believers are gathered together, we have such a beautiful opportunity to unite together. Sadly, lifting one another up & discussing personal growth are not the norm.
I can't stand it.
& I think that is because there was a time in my life when I knew that kind of relationship. I had a firm grasp on my faith. I knew what I believed and why. There was a time that I truly understood what it meant to be a PART of the body of Christ. A time when I called on a sister in Christ to bear my burdens with me. A time when gossip was far from my heart & mind. When love was real & evident constantly... When sin was bluntly called sin.
I look around me & into the mirror & I see the same sour faced "christian." Claiming that God is good with our mouth, yet anger is violently shaking our heart. We don't believe we are welcome into the arms of God, so we choose to suffer through it all alone. Holding on to some bitterness, hurt, lie, anger or whatever. Life overwhelms us & we don't even put up a fight. The thought of making the conscious choice to be joyful, or to dwell on truth doesn't even cross our minds. We are so consumed in the negative of life that we refuse to dive back into God's unfathomable love for us. He desires to take our pain & do away with it... FOR US. All we have to do is knowledgeably give the control of those issues over to God & the rest is taken care of.
But, No... we just hold on it, instead.
We see hardships coming & forfeit. Because we "don't want to fight anymore". We're tired of life being so challenging.
Woe is me.
As long as I am doing better than them.... right?
Wrong.
When we could be living life abundantly through the everlasting, we decide to merely get by through ourselves.
We trade the truth of God for a lie.
What does it take?
Jesus Christ never gave up on us on His way to the cross...
I am just so tired of people being so lazy about Christianity. If you aren't a Christian-a true, believer that Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, died for your sins & rose again that if you accept His grace & forgiveness, you will have a place in eternity with Him- then this does not apply to you. I am talking to my fellow body of believers, my brothers & sisters in Christ. My Spiritual family.
We have tapped into His grace, mercy, love & power... there is nothing to big for us to conquer with the King of Kings on our side. Yet, we struggle to find the energy to get out of bed early enough to read His word? We are so passionate in conversation about things that don't even matter. Petty drama is constantly on the tip of our tongues. Why? Why do we waste our precious time talking about such vain things? When believers are gathered together, we have such a beautiful opportunity to unite together. Sadly, lifting one another up & discussing personal growth are not the norm.
I can't stand it.
& I think that is because there was a time in my life when I knew that kind of relationship. I had a firm grasp on my faith. I knew what I believed and why. There was a time that I truly understood what it meant to be a PART of the body of Christ. A time when I called on a sister in Christ to bear my burdens with me. A time when gossip was far from my heart & mind. When love was real & evident constantly... When sin was bluntly called sin.
I look around me & into the mirror & I see the same sour faced "christian." Claiming that God is good with our mouth, yet anger is violently shaking our heart. We don't believe we are welcome into the arms of God, so we choose to suffer through it all alone. Holding on to some bitterness, hurt, lie, anger or whatever. Life overwhelms us & we don't even put up a fight. The thought of making the conscious choice to be joyful, or to dwell on truth doesn't even cross our minds. We are so consumed in the negative of life that we refuse to dive back into God's unfathomable love for us. He desires to take our pain & do away with it... FOR US. All we have to do is knowledgeably give the control of those issues over to God & the rest is taken care of.
But, No... we just hold on it, instead.
We see hardships coming & forfeit. Because we "don't want to fight anymore". We're tired of life being so challenging.
Woe is me.
As long as I am doing better than them.... right?
Wrong.
When we could be living life abundantly through the everlasting, we decide to merely get by through ourselves.
We trade the truth of God for a lie.
What does it take?
Jesus Christ never gave up on us on His way to the cross...
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Finally
I am terrible at keeping up with this blog lately. I apologize. Life has been happening, even when I didn't realize it. I feel as thought I woke up one day & noticed I had missed out on a lot. I hate getting into the motions of things & not putting my emotions into them. I hate that I have let time pass me by without acknowledging it. A good friend once told me about living your life with intent. I am trying to get into the habit of that.
Some things that have been long awaited how finally taken place. A few good friends have ended their journey as singles & tied the knot. I really enjoyed the past two weddings because I felt honored to be there. If anyone ever deserved a lifetime of love, these beautiful people do. It was such a beautiful reminder of why I am where I am. I have finally realized that I need to be where I am, in every way... not just physically. I feel like there's this big wall of selfishness that I have been looking at for a while. I've known I needed to begin conquering it for quite some time. I don't think one could ever actually overcome it... but at least, I have begun.
It's a really big wall. Really thick. Really high. & really uncomfortable.
But. In the end, it really is worth it.
On another note. I have been working on this painting for a while. It was a wedding gift. It had been the source of my frustration for quite a bit.... but I think I finally came to a satisfied end. Jess & (now) Jayne Kota are good friends of ours. We had them over for dinner before they got married. We had a really great time of genuine fellowship & encouragement. I knew then I wanted to paint something spiritual for them... not just "Mr. & Mrs. Kota" like I had originally intended. I found out their general color scheme for their future home & got busy busy the next day. I can't wait to hear back from them in a few weeks & see what they think.
What do you think?
Acrylic paints. Gift.
Some things that have been long awaited how finally taken place. A few good friends have ended their journey as singles & tied the knot. I really enjoyed the past two weddings because I felt honored to be there. If anyone ever deserved a lifetime of love, these beautiful people do. It was such a beautiful reminder of why I am where I am. I have finally realized that I need to be where I am, in every way... not just physically. I feel like there's this big wall of selfishness that I have been looking at for a while. I've known I needed to begin conquering it for quite some time. I don't think one could ever actually overcome it... but at least, I have begun.
It's a really big wall. Really thick. Really high. & really uncomfortable.
But. In the end, it really is worth it.
On another note. I have been working on this painting for a while. It was a wedding gift. It had been the source of my frustration for quite a bit.... but I think I finally came to a satisfied end. Jess & (now) Jayne Kota are good friends of ours. We had them over for dinner before they got married. We had a really great time of genuine fellowship & encouragement. I knew then I wanted to paint something spiritual for them... not just "Mr. & Mrs. Kota" like I had originally intended. I found out their general color scheme for their future home & got busy busy the next day. I can't wait to hear back from them in a few weeks & see what they think.
What do you think?
Acrylic paints. Gift.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Changes
Oh my goodness it has been so long.
I am so sorry. Thank you for not giving up on me!
Okay. So, before you read on.... find a way to listen to the band "Brown Bird"... I am serious. Don't read without doing it.. you'll miss the mood.
"I am a child without you near
my strongest love reduced to fear
for when you're gone
I'm a severed soul..."
Life is so full right now. I know God is at work in my life-everywhere I look. Inside of me & around me. I am feeling so overwhelmed- in a good way? I have never been so happy to be confronted with myself. I feel like lately I look in the mirror & see the need for change & I like it. I guess what I am trying to say... God is replacing my contentment with desire. He is reviving my heart for friendship & comradery. I didn't know my husband and I could be more in love... but I am falling more & more in love with him every day. I constantly find myself thinking, "we are having such a good day together" but the next day is even better. Sometimes I am amazed at the faithfulness of God... even in the little things. When I seek Him, I find Him... in everything. I am so excited to see where He is leading & how He will provide for my life.
On a "business" note. Things have been slow. I currently have about 4 or 5 gifts that I am working on. Each one will be a seperate blog, once I actually give them (don't want to spoil the surprise). Recently, a couple from the church I grew up attending contacted me. There has been a member of the church who has stepped in as the choir director until they found someone else to permanently fill the position. She did this for 3 years. Now, THAT is dedicated service. Not to mention, she was my dentist as a child :) It's a small world after all, isn't it? Any how, the couple asked me to make her an "award" with the church colors- navy, yellow, & white. It was to read, "World's Best Interim Choir Director" & have some musical-ness to it.
What do you think?
Acryic & latex paints. Sold.
I am so sorry. Thank you for not giving up on me!
Okay. So, before you read on.... find a way to listen to the band "Brown Bird"... I am serious. Don't read without doing it.. you'll miss the mood.
"I am a child without you near
my strongest love reduced to fear
for when you're gone
I'm a severed soul..."
Life is so full right now. I know God is at work in my life-everywhere I look. Inside of me & around me. I am feeling so overwhelmed- in a good way? I have never been so happy to be confronted with myself. I feel like lately I look in the mirror & see the need for change & I like it. I guess what I am trying to say... God is replacing my contentment with desire. He is reviving my heart for friendship & comradery. I didn't know my husband and I could be more in love... but I am falling more & more in love with him every day. I constantly find myself thinking, "we are having such a good day together" but the next day is even better. Sometimes I am amazed at the faithfulness of God... even in the little things. When I seek Him, I find Him... in everything. I am so excited to see where He is leading & how He will provide for my life.
On a "business" note. Things have been slow. I currently have about 4 or 5 gifts that I am working on. Each one will be a seperate blog, once I actually give them (don't want to spoil the surprise). Recently, a couple from the church I grew up attending contacted me. There has been a member of the church who has stepped in as the choir director until they found someone else to permanently fill the position. She did this for 3 years. Now, THAT is dedicated service. Not to mention, she was my dentist as a child :) It's a small world after all, isn't it? Any how, the couple asked me to make her an "award" with the church colors- navy, yellow, & white. It was to read, "World's Best Interim Choir Director" & have some musical-ness to it.
What do you think?
Acryic & latex paints. Sold.
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