Once upon a time, I kept up with this thing. My life has been feeling quite like a circus lately. It seems like I don't even have time to remember who I am. I use to journal a lot more, but I don't even make time for that now either. I feel like I am constantly on the move, trying to get something done... but I never feel I've accomplished anything. I've been painting, but not putting up pictures. I apologize. If you are reading this, you know I usually post in order to display my newest creation.
Today, however, I just thought I would emotionally vomit on the internet.
Sorry you have to deal with that.
My heart is really heavy for so much right now. I don't really understand where I am suppose to be. I literally feel torn... or scattered. It makes sense to be so many places... but I don't know which one is right. I know I am suppose to be by my husband's side... & that's where I am & will remain until God calls me home... I just mean where are WE suppose to be.
What are you suppose to do when your mother's health is going downhill right before your eyes... & she's so young? Where are you suppose to be when she is so far away? When do you decide to make the most of the time you have left?
I wish decisions could just be made & you didn't have to think about the details that go along.
but they can't, because you do.
I used to think that making decisions was easy. I had all of those, "God can only steer a moving ship" Christian cliches in my head. I figured I could just make my choices, and trust God to be behind them or stop them from their execution.
ReplyDeleteI understand better, now, that some decisions are just...impossible to make. Sometimes, there isn't necessarily a "best option."
Wait on God. If you can't decide, don't. There's no point in committing yourself, trapping yourself, to a choice and being miserable over it. He's not a God of confusion. He's not a God of confusion. He has told us to ask for wisdom. Sometimes He tells us to wait.
Keep waiting. Don't stop asking God. And Wait.