I am thinking of giving this blog a new title. I am not giving up on doing my painting, but if I were being honest with myself, painting is really not what my life is all about right now. I would like to still blog. i would like to blog about my day to day (or you know, week to week) life and it be relevant.
So, if any of you 13 followers have a title suggestion, I am all ears.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Update
Eva is two.
James Lee is 8 months.
Time waits for no one. Life is going by so quickly. People tell me, "they'll be 18 before you know it" as if I don't already know that! There are days when I see Eva and just want to cry. She is such a little girl now. I miss my baby girl. I am not ready for her to be talking to me! I miss carrying her around on my hip! Ah, I love her so much. And James, well James truly is my little man. He is a Momma's boy and I am loving every minute of it. He, too, is growing up too fast. Each day it seems he is advancing in some way. I love watching him discover things, but I hate that he does not need me as much.
Being Momma is hard.
I think my favorite things about them right now are:
-Eva is saying, "I love you" and "I miss/missed you" and she actually understands their meaning
-James just started clapping and trying to dance... so doing this baby bounce
Oh, they are precious.
James Lee is 8 months.
Time waits for no one. Life is going by so quickly. People tell me, "they'll be 18 before you know it" as if I don't already know that! There are days when I see Eva and just want to cry. She is such a little girl now. I miss my baby girl. I am not ready for her to be talking to me! I miss carrying her around on my hip! Ah, I love her so much. And James, well James truly is my little man. He is a Momma's boy and I am loving every minute of it. He, too, is growing up too fast. Each day it seems he is advancing in some way. I love watching him discover things, but I hate that he does not need me as much.
Being Momma is hard.
I think my favorite things about them right now are:
-Eva is saying, "I love you" and "I miss/missed you" and she actually understands their meaning
-James just started clapping and trying to dance... so doing this baby bounce
Oh, they are precious.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
I think I can't, I think I can
Here's the thing:
I am absolutely terrible at keeping at anything. Seriously.I think the only way I could be committed to being a frequent blogger is if it was crying and needing a diaper change. Who knows. Sorry for the long period of blogging silence. I will try to try to do better.
I really don't know exactly what the point for starting this blog really was... but I do know that now,for today at least, it is going to be for my sanity. This has very little to do with painting, and everything to do with life.
My Eva baby is one year old. My son will be born in two months. ... Lord, have mercy. The question that circles my mind at 2 am is not, "can I do this?" but, "how am I going to do this?"... It is going to happen, so I know I can't waste my energy telling myself I can't. Can't isn't an option. At one point ,when I was in labor with my Eva, I started to give up, telling the staff, "I can't, I can't" and a nurse looked me dead in the eyes and said, "You HAVE to, so stop wasting your energy saying you can't."
That particular statement still resonates with me.
After Highschool, I spent a year going to a Bible Institute in Hudson, Florida. During my time there I was part of a traveling singing ensemble. When summer came, we traveled out to California. One day we made a day trip to hike up a mountain. Of course the hike in itself was an event to remember. The scenery was to die for(I mean, literally, ...you would not want to fall...) and the experience was so refreshing. We all knew that the reason we had to get to the top was to get a picture as a group. Every group from every year before us had done it. It was tradition. We had to.
However, what I remember the most about that hike... is how I hiked. For some reason I must have left my brain in Florida because I did not pack tennis shoes. Or, anything other than sandals, for that matter. Luckily, there was a girl who let me borrow her sneakers. Once we got to actually hiking, though, it wasn't long before I realized they didn't fit very well. We had only hiked about 5 inches when my heals were revolting in blistering rebellion. I was doomed.
Doomed I tell ya.
...I took my shoes off, tied them to my back pack and proceeded to hike... in my socks. Yes. My socks. If I had the option of not hiking, believe me... I would have gladly said, "Peace out" to the rest of the group, and caught up on a nice sun tan while awaiting their return. But, I had to. There was a ridiculous opportunity for a ridiculous, unnecessary picture waiting at the peak of that mountain. And, I was not going to be that "one girl" who just couldn't make it. I think deep down, even though the reason would have been my lack of shoes, I still felt like people would have blamed my lack of physique. And I definitely would not be "the fat girl" (like I haven't been fat for four years...) so, can't wasn't an option. Not for me. I HAD to. I couldn't sit there wasting my time saying, "I can't"...
I still keep that ridiculous picture in my Bible as a bookmark in Philippians.
There are times in this life when I just want to give up. My strength is failing me... and I just know I can't. But when you know you have to, "can't" doesn't really phase you. It is amazing the strength you find once you make up your mind that you will.
I know that having two babies will get easier as time goes on. I know things will start to fall into balance and sync. Just as they did with our first. I always told myself I would figure out how to cross each bridge out as I came to it, ... and I did. I know I can this time around too... with two...
Yet still, there is this feeling deep inside of me that I am about to drown.
The beauty of it all is knowing that I can't... and God knows I can't... but He can. I am doing a Bible Study right now by Priscilla Shirer. Many times she points out the fact that the enemy would never push us to a place in our lives in which we would need to depend on the strength of our Almighty God rather than ourselves. If we are at a point in life, facing a crisis knowing we can't do it... but we have to, we can be sure that it is God beckoning into us "our story". One day, when we come out on the other end of that trial, we can tell our story to others and encourage them. We can look back and know it was only by the strength and grace of God that we made it through.
I thank God that I can rest in this truth. When nothing else comforts my soul, this knowledge does.
I am absolutely terrible at keeping at anything. Seriously.I think the only way I could be committed to being a frequent blogger is if it was crying and needing a diaper change. Who knows. Sorry for the long period of blogging silence. I will try to try to do better.
I really don't know exactly what the point for starting this blog really was... but I do know that now,for today at least, it is going to be for my sanity. This has very little to do with painting, and everything to do with life.
My Eva baby is one year old. My son will be born in two months. ... Lord, have mercy. The question that circles my mind at 2 am is not, "can I do this?" but, "how am I going to do this?"... It is going to happen, so I know I can't waste my energy telling myself I can't. Can't isn't an option. At one point ,when I was in labor with my Eva, I started to give up, telling the staff, "I can't, I can't" and a nurse looked me dead in the eyes and said, "You HAVE to, so stop wasting your energy saying you can't."
That particular statement still resonates with me.
After Highschool, I spent a year going to a Bible Institute in Hudson, Florida. During my time there I was part of a traveling singing ensemble. When summer came, we traveled out to California. One day we made a day trip to hike up a mountain. Of course the hike in itself was an event to remember. The scenery was to die for(I mean, literally, ...you would not want to fall...) and the experience was so refreshing. We all knew that the reason we had to get to the top was to get a picture as a group. Every group from every year before us had done it. It was tradition. We had to.
However, what I remember the most about that hike... is how I hiked. For some reason I must have left my brain in Florida because I did not pack tennis shoes. Or, anything other than sandals, for that matter. Luckily, there was a girl who let me borrow her sneakers. Once we got to actually hiking, though, it wasn't long before I realized they didn't fit very well. We had only hiked about 5 inches when my heals were revolting in blistering rebellion. I was doomed.
Doomed I tell ya.
...I took my shoes off, tied them to my back pack and proceeded to hike... in my socks. Yes. My socks. If I had the option of not hiking, believe me... I would have gladly said, "Peace out" to the rest of the group, and caught up on a nice sun tan while awaiting their return. But, I had to. There was a ridiculous opportunity for a ridiculous, unnecessary picture waiting at the peak of that mountain. And, I was not going to be that "one girl" who just couldn't make it. I think deep down, even though the reason would have been my lack of shoes, I still felt like people would have blamed my lack of physique. And I definitely would not be "the fat girl" (like I haven't been fat for four years...) so, can't wasn't an option. Not for me. I HAD to. I couldn't sit there wasting my time saying, "I can't"...
I still keep that ridiculous picture in my Bible as a bookmark in Philippians.
There are times in this life when I just want to give up. My strength is failing me... and I just know I can't. But when you know you have to, "can't" doesn't really phase you. It is amazing the strength you find once you make up your mind that you will.
I know that having two babies will get easier as time goes on. I know things will start to fall into balance and sync. Just as they did with our first. I always told myself I would figure out how to cross each bridge out as I came to it, ... and I did. I know I can this time around too... with two...
Yet still, there is this feeling deep inside of me that I am about to drown.
The beauty of it all is knowing that I can't... and God knows I can't... but He can. I am doing a Bible Study right now by Priscilla Shirer. Many times she points out the fact that the enemy would never push us to a place in our lives in which we would need to depend on the strength of our Almighty God rather than ourselves. If we are at a point in life, facing a crisis knowing we can't do it... but we have to, we can be sure that it is God beckoning into us "our story". One day, when we come out on the other end of that trial, we can tell our story to others and encourage them. We can look back and know it was only by the strength and grace of God that we made it through.
I thank God that I can rest in this truth. When nothing else comforts my soul, this knowledge does.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Home Is Where Your Mom Is
Once upon a time, I kept up with this thing. My life has been feeling quite like a circus lately. It seems like I don't even have time to remember who I am. I use to journal a lot more, but I don't even make time for that now either. I feel like I am constantly on the move, trying to get something done... but I never feel I've accomplished anything. I've been painting, but not putting up pictures. I apologize. If you are reading this, you know I usually post in order to display my newest creation.
Today, however, I just thought I would emotionally vomit on the internet.
Sorry you have to deal with that.
My heart is really heavy for so much right now. I don't really understand where I am suppose to be. I literally feel torn... or scattered. It makes sense to be so many places... but I don't know which one is right. I know I am suppose to be by my husband's side... & that's where I am & will remain until God calls me home... I just mean where are WE suppose to be.
What are you suppose to do when your mother's health is going downhill right before your eyes... & she's so young? Where are you suppose to be when she is so far away? When do you decide to make the most of the time you have left?
I wish decisions could just be made & you didn't have to think about the details that go along.
but they can't, because you do.
Today, however, I just thought I would emotionally vomit on the internet.
Sorry you have to deal with that.
My heart is really heavy for so much right now. I don't really understand where I am suppose to be. I literally feel torn... or scattered. It makes sense to be so many places... but I don't know which one is right. I know I am suppose to be by my husband's side... & that's where I am & will remain until God calls me home... I just mean where are WE suppose to be.
What are you suppose to do when your mother's health is going downhill right before your eyes... & she's so young? Where are you suppose to be when she is so far away? When do you decide to make the most of the time you have left?
I wish decisions could just be made & you didn't have to think about the details that go along.
but they can't, because you do.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
'SIGN'ificant Difference
I am currently working on door signs for this Holiday Season. I am so excited about this. The wood is absolutely wonderful to paint on-just like canvas. I am having a blast painting these, and it's been a while since I enjoyed painting!
I am mostly excited about these signs because they have meaning. Not just because they are (hopefully) reminding people to be thankful & merry during the holidays. I think these paintings have value because 30% of the proceeds will be donated to my mother in order to help pay for her medicine.
Let me explain. My mom has a lung disease called Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension. Basically, the blood vessels which take blood to her lungs do not dilate. She also has a hole in her heart the size of a half dollar. Needless to say... she is having a hard time. The medicine for her PAH costs $30,000 a year.... after insurance. So whatever we can do to help, we do!
The signs are reversible. One side (pictured) is for the Thanksgiving season. The other side will be navy blue with white lettering which reads, "Merry Christmas". I have not yet finished the Christmas side, so I don't have a picture to show for it. If a reversible sign is purchased, it is $50. However, you can opt to just get a Thanksgiving or just a Christmas sign for $25. I put this information up yesterday and have already made 5 orders! I am so excited to finish these & celebrate this season, merry & bright!
I am mostly excited about these signs because they have meaning. Not just because they are (hopefully) reminding people to be thankful & merry during the holidays. I think these paintings have value because 30% of the proceeds will be donated to my mother in order to help pay for her medicine.
Let me explain. My mom has a lung disease called Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension. Basically, the blood vessels which take blood to her lungs do not dilate. She also has a hole in her heart the size of a half dollar. Needless to say... she is having a hard time. The medicine for her PAH costs $30,000 a year.... after insurance. So whatever we can do to help, we do!
The signs are reversible. One side (pictured) is for the Thanksgiving season. The other side will be navy blue with white lettering which reads, "Merry Christmas". I have not yet finished the Christmas side, so I don't have a picture to show for it. If a reversible sign is purchased, it is $50. However, you can opt to just get a Thanksgiving or just a Christmas sign for $25. I put this information up yesterday and have already made 5 orders! I am so excited to finish these & celebrate this season, merry & bright!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Sewing Sweetness
So, my friend Joy over at The Goose Beary Shop (etsy) & Redirected Dreams (blog) helped me with a gift recently. If anyone actually knows me in real life, they know the idea of me sewing is as far fetched as the idea of Politicians telling the truth (ha). We have some friends who are expecting their very first child this winter. I wanted to give them something that really mattered. I would have painted something, but they are not finding out the gender... so I wouldn't really know what to do. I don't think anyone really wants a brown plaque that says "baby" on their wall.
I knew Joy could help me because, well, she's like my saving grace! Not only did she come up with some awesome ideas(... YES, plural.. because she just kept making more & more! Have I mentioned that she is my saving grace?) but she also *drum roll please* TAUGHT me how to use the sewing machine.
I don't know that you genuinely understand the seriousness of this issue.
It was like watching Chuck Norris bake a cake.
Anyway. So, I got the wonderful privilege of making a receiving blanket with two matching burp cloths. Joy, in all of her angelic kindness however, made: a sock monkey, a cell phone holder, a teething rag doll, & an infants ball.
So. Here are the pictures
& if you're interested in Joy's handmade work, please visit her etsy The Goose Beary Shop for more goodies & order something from this wonderful momma! (Sorry, Joy, I don't know how to link your pages, or I would have.)
I knew Joy could help me because, well, she's like my saving grace! Not only did she come up with some awesome ideas(... YES, plural.. because she just kept making more & more! Have I mentioned that she is my saving grace?) but she also *drum roll please* TAUGHT me how to use the sewing machine.
I don't know that you genuinely understand the seriousness of this issue.
It was like watching Chuck Norris bake a cake.
Anyway. So, I got the wonderful privilege of making a receiving blanket with two matching burp cloths. Joy, in all of her angelic kindness however, made: a sock monkey, a cell phone holder, a teething rag doll, & an infants ball.
So. Here are the pictures
& if you're interested in Joy's handmade work, please visit her etsy The Goose Beary Shop for more goodies & order something from this wonderful momma! (Sorry, Joy, I don't know how to link your pages, or I would have.)
Friday, October 1, 2010
Momma
Painting has been so slow lately. Life, on the other hand, has not. I am trying to find the balance of doing things I enjoy & enjoying the things that I do.
Does that make sense?
This weekend is going to be great. Dear friends of ours are coming from North Carolina. They are expecting so we decided to throw them a baby "party"... because that is more manly that a shower. Haha. My amazing friend came to my rescue & helped me with a gift. She taught me how to use a sewing machine! Oh my word... it has been a long time coming. I am so proud of myself, but mostly just thankful for her. She spent all day helping me make goodies. Truthfully, I only made a couple of the items, the rest was her. She is such a generous person. I thank God for her presence in my life.
I can't show you pictures yet, because I have to give it to the mother-to-be first! But I will, as soon as I can.
I do have one new piece of art to show you. I painted this for my mother. She doesn't get to see my daughter often & it was her birthday. It happens to be one of my husband's favorites so far. What do you think?
Pine frame. Acrylic paints. Gift.
Does that make sense?
This weekend is going to be great. Dear friends of ours are coming from North Carolina. They are expecting so we decided to throw them a baby "party"... because that is more manly that a shower. Haha. My amazing friend came to my rescue & helped me with a gift. She taught me how to use a sewing machine! Oh my word... it has been a long time coming. I am so proud of myself, but mostly just thankful for her. She spent all day helping me make goodies. Truthfully, I only made a couple of the items, the rest was her. She is such a generous person. I thank God for her presence in my life.
I can't show you pictures yet, because I have to give it to the mother-to-be first! But I will, as soon as I can.
I do have one new piece of art to show you. I painted this for my mother. She doesn't get to see my daughter often & it was her birthday. It happens to be one of my husband's favorites so far. What do you think?
Pine frame. Acrylic paints. Gift.
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